Interviews with the community Pt.2
We asked three people in the aromantic spectrum about their thoughts on media.
Different kinds of media have been affected by amatonormativity. Plots revolving around romance, characters losing sight of themselves or their goals, those are common storylines that we see every time, even in the game industry.
Following the first interview, we had a refreshing conversation with Var, who shared their experiences and thoughts regarding video games. Their insight as they shared their frustrations gave words to those pesky, unnamed annoyances we had, while at the same time extending a ray of hope, as more games are opening up their repertoire focusing on more than romance.
Runrun: Hello!! Thank you for participating! We want this to go as a conversation, but we do have a set of questions! And we’ll try to ask you more questions to develop some thoughts a bit more. Okay so, as an arospec person, how satisfied do you feel with the current media landscape?
Overall, not super satisfied, but satisfied enough I think? To clarify, I dislike how romance is a major aspect of many pieces of media today (like AAA games - Baldur’s Gate 3 character development being locked behind romance, and books - most have at least a romantic subplot). But at the same time, I am able to find things that either are light enough in romance that I’m ok with it, or has no romance at all.
My main source of media is video games so I’ll be talking mostly about that. I’ve noticed, especially with indie games, they’re starting to NOT lock character development behind romance, which is a nice change! But yeah, most games still don’t do that.
Ei: That’s actually quite interesting, I’ve seen during the years how indie games that become popular focus on the self and friendships, or add other queer subtext or just focus more on the journey, so I can totally see what you mean.
Yeah! I’ve been picking up more indie games because of this! (recently, “My Time at Sandrock”)
R: It’s interesting how small groups are making a difference. Do you also personally feel any of that kind of effort from big companies?
Not really... To be fair, I haven’t really been playing a lot of Big Name Games, but the ones I have (such as Baldur’s Gate 3, or even Xenoblade Chronicles 3) had romance as a really important aspect.
R: I understand what you mean... Moving on to the next question, do you think the way current media gives focus to the idea of romance could be limiting storytelling and character arcs?
Yes, definitely! Like, for example, in Baldur’s Gate 3 a lot of character development was locked behind romancing the characters, which also leans into amatonormativity, because why should a romantic relationship be the only thing that allows them to open up?
E: It feels like, especially with RPGs, the limitations could be greater in that case, with the content only getting unlocked after romancing another character.
R: I feel so too. I’ve find it difficult myself sometimes to stick to a game I’m playing because it feels like I’m getting lead to romance the characters, and sometimes it even makes me not want to check out a new game.
YEAH!!!!!!! Like when playing Baldur’s Gate 3, I was really nice to Wyll because I thought he was cool, and then I accidentally romanced him, which like, I love Wyll, but not like that. It really feels like romance is the default in many of these games.
R: You’ve mentioned your struggle with Wyll, and this connects to our next question, do you have any relationships in media that frustrated you, and if you do, why?
YES. When I played Xenoblade Chronicles 3, I was really frustrated with the main couple of the game. They were like a “doomed” couple, and the game wanted you to feel bad for them but honestly I could not get myself to care at all.
They kept pining for each other and being all like “omgggg I wish we could just run off together instead of having to save the world!!!!!!” And I was just sitting there like “bitch, too bad, find someone else!!!!!!!” The game framed it in a way that was like, yes, it was selfish of them, but also romance is just soooooo amazing !!!!!!!!!!!
E: Sounds kinda like that trending trope of villain versus superhero, where people preferred the villain who would let the world burn for their partner, but trying to make it more palatable. Do you usually see similar things in other videogames, where it feels like the story puts the character’s romance above the story’s main objective?
I see it from time to time! And whenever I do it frustrates me immensely. Because I feel like for many of them, they aren’t being critical of how romantic love (or even love in general) can harm others. Fortunately, in the video game world it has been easier for me to avoid such plotlines, all my favorite games are basically devoid of romance or even make fun of it at times.
E: Ahhh, I get what you mean, it’s as if the characters become narrow minded and can’t see anything else, right?
Exactly! And it’s to the point where, when I see this trope done but with relationship types other than romantic, I feel relieved! Like for example, someone wanting revenge because their brother was killed.
R: It’s great that you at least get options for games without romance, but, what would be something you would like to see more in games and maybe media in general?
I think it would be awesome if, RPG games in particular, had a “close platonic bond” option in addition to romance options!
As for media in general, I think I’d like to see more of people tearing down the relationship hierarchy. Just putting less focus on romance in general, and also show how it has its flaws just like any other type of relationship.
E: I get you with the close platonic bond, it would be great to get characters that can really open up to you when choosing the correct options, but you can rarely see that. About the relationship hierarchy you mentioned, of course the idea that a romantic partner is the most important one is quite prevalent in society, is there any way you’d like to see the idea fall?
Yeah! Maybe something like someone choosing a family member or friend over a romantic partner. Not like a sacrifice, but because they prefer that person.
E: Oh! That feels like a good idea, it seems also like a good opportunity to interact more with characters and their emotions.
Yeah, exactly!
R: Speaking of characters and their own stories, how do you think aromantic representation could revolutionize media?
I think it could really change some people’s worldview!!!!!! I really feel like the world would be a better place if more people adopted that worldview. To be clear, I’m referring to how aros are more aware of amatonormativity, and how the world is constantly pressuring us to participate in romance (whether it’s on a personal level, or by bombarding us with it in media). I think even non-aros would benefit from seeing an aro’s perspective!
R: I totally agree. I think that’s all for the interview!
Thank you so much for having me! It was fun chatting with y’all!
R: Thank you for participating!!! It was also fun for me! Happy ASAW!!